Have you heard?

09 Jul

Have you heard?
You haven’t heard?
You don’t know?
Where have you been?

He won’t be President
He is not well
Yeah, he has really bad diabetes
Those red eyes and that limp
He is really not well
You haven’t heard?
Everybody in Nairobi knows
Like the way they know that
I’m a big mouth
on a small man
I need to bring big people down to my level
I am loosing and so no one will win
I have to slow him down
He is not well

Have you heard?
They parted ways ages ago
She’s been living in South Africa for years
They just put up a front for the campaign
His mother insisted that he ran
He is not his own man
You don’t know?
That’s why he drinks so much
Like the way I talk too much
all over people’s business
Nothing is happening in my life
My dreams got sober, got cold and died
That gets me flustered
I insist that he goes to bed with a Tusker
Sloshing himself into the night
You haven’t heard?
You don’t know?
Where have you been?

She is no parliamentary trailblazer
She is sleeping with him!
He just bought her a house
with hard cash
She’s lost all her principles
Now a gun for hire
You don’t know?
She has sold her soul
Like the way I have no goals
The ghosts from my past constantly shift the posts
My kicks always miss the mark
I get mad because she’s scoring
I put her in bed with the MPs on her side
She is a high class hooker
You haven’t heard?
You don’t know?
Where have you been?

He beats his wife
Its’ hard to believe
He appears to be such a nice guy
but he is cheating on her
She told the Pastor to pray
You don’t know?
The things wives must endure
because I have no man near
Am alone and that makes me bitter
From my single base I am a full time hater
of all who are together
Yeah, that’s right
He is a wife beater

Have you heard?
The Chinese are breeding big time
Babies with Chinese looks
are being born
all along the Thika highway
Kikuyu drunks are on notice
What they cannot do, the Chinese will
China is a super power
building a super highway
and making super children
You haven’t heard!
Anyone in the village can tell you!

Anyway, the super highway will be a walk way
No one will ride anywhere
They have given up on managing traffic
Too many people are dying on the roads
They will announce that we will walk everywhere

Have you heard?
Terror is getting rough
Kenyans will be required to wear helmets
and bulletproof jackets
The jackets will have three sizes
For no bust, a small bust and a big bust
The helmet will have your name at the front
and email address at the back

Have you heard?
Barack Obama is outside here
He will attend the Open Mic
He told Binyavanga that he could not miss another night
You haven’t heard!
You don’t know?
Where have you been?


Leave a comment

Posted by on July 9, 2012 in Uncategorized


Tags: , , , ,

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: